Friday, 12 December 2014


 Already on Freesound but I can't seem to find the embed code.

Just couldn't think of a title

Or anything to say about it download.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Lost at Sea

A bit gentler on the ears, just a repeating phrase with only minor variations. All sounds made with VirSyn Poseidon. Public domain as usual.


Trashy Poseidon seems to be down, Bandcamp upload instead (free as usual and public domain, ignore bandcamp license). Gets progressively louder and more distorted from about 01:40 onwards. Mind your ears. Download

Poseidon Again

Bitmap image above used to generate spectrum.


Monday, 8 December 2014

Loud Woman in Theatre

Download if you wish.

Okay, it's hardly anything genius, just a noise drone, but I like something about it. Good for annoying the neighbours I suppose. I had real problems with the low end (and the whole spectrum really); really boomy at 90-100Hz, so it's been eq'd and compressed/gated quite a lot. Lots of defects all over.

As is usual when doing this stuff, I had other ideas for it after it was finished, but in a mood because I wasn't really satified with it I deleted the original project files in haste. Still, I can start afresh, which is usually better in my opinion.

It is a heavily processed version of this sound by freesound user Klankbeeld, cheers Klank. I chose it specifically because of its quietness (I wondered, what's in there?) and partly because of the sample's title, which I liked and that inspired me to make it a loud woman in a noisy theatre. Which is which is anyone's guess. Only four differently processed tracks of the original sound comprise whole thing.

Processing: quite simple. Severe hardlimiting in Cool Edit over 90% clipped. Positive contrast with dtblkfx (yep, the fucking best free software ever written. GRM Contrast Sucks in comparison). Distortion from Trash. Reverb from Reflect. And post with Ozone 4. I'll refrain from using the word "mastered" with Ozone 4, as I'm far from that level of expertise.

Monday, 10 November 2014

Trashing river sounds

 Firstly, this gets very harsh and loud at about 37 seconds, mind your levels. All sounds are processed versions of this recording by corsica-s

I originally intended to process different river sounds from freesound and mix them together, but there were just too many and settled on this one for no particular reason other than it was a good clean recording. First thing to do is amplify it to death with hardlimiting at almost 100% clipping. Then I filtered all that noise out with the positive contrast effect in dtblkfx (usually I use that to create drones which was my original idea, but changed my mind) and then processed it with the LFOs in the pre-filter module of Trash to create rhythms. I did about five or six variations of this, cut them up, roughly arranged them and applied more distortion and amp models to get that guitar sound. There's also a drone like sound which I kept in there too and a few other Trashy manipulations. I'll probably upload some individual tracks to freesound for those who might be interested and who can do this mixing/musical thing better than I. I'm pretty crap at it I admit, but mainly I just love to change sounds into other sounds.

Also. This is the third version of this, if you think this is bad, you should hear the others. Maybe I'll upload them or continue to evolve this one. Generally though I get bored with using the same sound, even though it's all just waves in the end.

Download if you wish. I wouldn't, I think it sucks.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

different version of previous sound

freesounds used: fgpkeys hifijohn thanvannispen
Slightly longer with different ending. Download if you wish.

Friday, 7 November 2014

forced sounds, they're so tasty - if you like junk noise.

This uses the following sounds by freesound users: 250678 38672 245443. That's all I can be bothered to say, except that: the summer's too warm for butter, and the winter's too cold for butter. Download if you wish.

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

we love to kill each other (this again)

This sound I recorded whilst playing HL2DM. You can hear my little female feet running around (I always play with female models) I don't, or can't do that bunny-hopping thing for long, hurts my wrist, but I do admire those who do and love to watch them. Here's one of my favourite players (again below).

This upload is intended only for processing if that kind of thing interests you. Not something I can upload to freesound for obvious reasons. I've been playing since 2005 and I still love this game and it'll be a long time before they make a fps multi-player better than this, if ever. The .357 Magnum is my favourite weapon, sometimes I wish I was born in America, but I'm sure I'd blow my brains out. I'm a child.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Palling A Fart

Freesounds used: Jovica Corsica_S naturenutt download if you wish

I threw this together in a drunken haze yesterday evening and then awoke to find a dent on the front of my computer case, a roll of toilet paper on the carpet and an empty beer bottle standing on the sofa cushion, and other general chaos. Don't mix sounds and drink I suppose is the lesson I should learn, or, don't become friends with a fart. Could have been worse though, at least I didn't piss in one of my boots in a state of somnambulism thinking it was the toilet, that has happened, not to mention other inappropriate sleepwalking urinations. Must be some kind of atavism to my bedwetting days, I still had a plastic under sheet when I was fifteen. I just looked up hangover in my dictionary and learnt a new word: katzenjammer, "Disagreeable after effects from the use of drugs (especially alcohol)" Anyway, enough bullshit. Here is another sound that needs a lot more added to it and some more subtracted, but I'm lazy and it's pointless so I'll just continue on to the next pointless sound. Done!

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

not the sound ! expected

[Edit: in more ways than one it turns out. I bought some new headphones and now it sounds totally dull, bassy and over amplified/distorted in mids and highs. Is it my headphones (old or new), my soundcard or maybe even my ears? I don't know, but now it sounds completely shit - even if it wasn't perfect before. I'll have to re-do it and upload another one.]

I was recording HL2DM in-game audio with Cool Edit whilst playing on a busy server and intended to do something completely different from this, but somehow on this occasion there was a fuck up and I recorded nothing but harsh noise. This is what I've processed that noise to sound like. Mostly processed with dtblkfx and a variety of other plugins in Sonar 7. It might hurt your ears at about a minute or so in, so mind your levels with headphones, assuming you aren't bored to tears before then.

The beats are just heavily filtered/gated distorted noise from the original recording and I've made no attempt at arranging them in any coherent musical sense - that doesn't interest me.

Download if you wish.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Processed Brown Noise

Apart from 3 which is made from processed Cube synth sounds.

Download links: 1 2 3

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Dreams from Drones

I made this last night and listened to it a few times before going to bed and ended up having a terrible nightmare about demonic possession. Then after managing to get back to sleep another dream about the investigation of a child murder being led by Sarah Lund from Forbrydelsen. She was examining the finger prints on a tin of tomatoes in the busiest restaurant kitchen I've ever seen. Good luck solving that one Lund, but you might need 40 episodes this time.

Anyway, I didn't know what to call this drone so I asked Catty and the reply was: "Then we decided we should go back inside." Good enough.

Download if you wish.

Friday, 10 October 2014

Late Autumn

Oh well, at least it's warm.

More Mutter

I fuckin' love this song, that's all I have to say about it.

I'm having a Mutter evening.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

the charles bukowski tapes (part 1)

download if you wish.

This is an edited and processed version of my favourite interview/documentary, no exceptions, and I must have watched it over a dozen times. Over the course of viewing and listening I noticed that in the silent parts there appeared to be other recordings, a bit like when you record over an old tape too many times, previous recordings still remain like layers. So here I've cut out all the interview parts to leave only the spaces in between. I've then applied a serious amount of amplification, then used positive contrast with dtblkfx (vst) to remove unwanted noise - about 45%. Processed further with Ozone 4 and a little reverb provided by Reflect. There might be a "part 2" if I get around to editing the second cd. Pretty boring (although I do love the mood it sets in my head). Not intended as stand-alone listening, more orientated towards video background sound, but god knows what as I don't make video, maybe I will. Probably they'd be as minimal and as pointless as this. But I kinda like pointless.

Monday, 4 August 2014

Cube Drone

Already on Freesound, but I can't find the embed code or it's missing.

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Cube Drone

I'm really into this synth at the moment.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Random Symbols

This I've already uploaded to freesound, but noticed only after uploading that there were some stereo image problems, namely that it skewed slightly to the left. I've applied some delay offset (about 28ms) to the left channel in a the rather wide middle band around 350hz-1500hz, and to my ears appears to sound more balanced. Technical shit eh? Just fucking around really. Anyway, I really like this sound, so it's here. Details about other processing and source material can be found on freesound.
Download if you wish.

Monday, 31 March 2014

Dare 26 Stuff

From an image of a sound of an image of a sound's spectrum, or something like that. It's easy to lose count. This is on Freesound already, but sometimes I like to blog my favourite processings.

Started out as this sound by Luckylittleraven

This is on Freesound already, but sometimes I like to blog my favourite processings.

Download if you wish

Saturday, 15 March 2014

More 2008 missing files

Here is me attempting to make something like more conventional music in 2008. Sounds like synths in Red Sunglasses, but it's actually bitmaps converted to sound in Cool Edit then layered at different pitches and times then played through a guitar amp. They're all out of time, out of tune, but to hell with it anyway. Part of me likes them and another doesn't. Déjà Vu contains Half-Life 2 voices, I used to play that game far too much and felt quite sad when those beautiful women were killed in battles against the Combine. Yep, I'm quite sad like that. I've uploaded these here before, then deleted them, so here they are again. Pretty much the same description applies to the other two here. Sounds better with headphones.

If you wish

Chance Piano (again)

A re upload of these and a brief description. Made some time 2004 by appending a bunch of waves (created by myself) in Cool Edit 2.1. Then I applied different processes and converted the results to midi with intelliscore 4. Played with mda piano in Sonar 2 (or was it 3? can't remember) with a bit of midi editing. The sound isn't great, I didn't know that much about eq and dsp in general back then. Also, there's a terrible whining noise on some tracks, oh well. I do like them anyway. I have tried to replicate this process a few times since, but with no interesting results. So, I guess it's done, and really, once is enough.

Score for Botulism generated by Sibelius.

Saturday, 1 March 2014

House cleaning and what have ya...

...well, kind of. Decided to separate words and pictures etc to my other blog. I guess most people who visit here, do so to hear sounds, and don't want a torrent of bullshit to wade through. So, sticking with the original plan. Also, other house cleaning. The hard drives. Decided to stop dual booting with Linux, it's getting far too messy and complicated doing separate back ups, so I'm going back to Windows permanently. I actually had to toss a penny, (one I found some weeks ago) because I'm so indecisive. The outcome was what I wanted anyway. Now I just have to decide between XP and W7, probably the latter as I'm in the mood for change and moving forwards. Finally! Besides, it's going on an advanced format drive, so best to go with a modern OS. Linux is a great idea, but I really don't have much use for it. So, hopefully I'll get back into making some new sounds for this blog soon.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Public Domain Noise Shit

I made this, no I didn't, I made shit, yes I did. Who gives a fuck? Use it if it fits with whatever you do.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Junk Mail Centerfold

This ought to drive people away. Yep, I'm/was a sick little monkey.

I Haven't done one of these in ages. I've had plenty of orgasms of course, but just not photographed the results. I don't buy magazines anymore; not in many years, but I do receive quite a lot of junk mail, so why not do something semi-creative or funny with it, instead of moaning about the stuff? I'm sure a lot of people will find this objectionable, sad, childish or sick. But I don't care, this is me, or part of me, literally. This one has been given a rough Photoshop edit; simply copying the 'r' and pasting it into 'pick' with a few other minor and obvious modifications. It's hardly high art, or art at all, so why labour over it?

These older ones I've decided to put back up here are from Sunday Newspaper Magazines, and they still make me laugh.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

A few more films

There's plenty of reviews on imdb.

Welcome to Collinwood  Always funny when things go wrong.

Scenic Route - "Well, that's the funny thing..." loved this film.

The Perfect Host Starring David Hyde Pierce. I've only ever seen him in Frasier and he was brilliant in this too.

1408  One of the few horror films that I actually found quite unsettling. Love John Cusack too.

Monday, 3 February 2014

Some Films

I don't, or more to the point, can't write reviews because I suck at it. But here's a few films I really enjoyed watching in the past 12 months or so.

Blue Jasmine by Woody Allen of course. Love just about all his films with the exception of musicals which I've always detested. That's not entirely true, because All That Jazz springs to mind and I loved that.

Nothing to say about Captain Phillips, except that it was brilliant.

The Descendants - Very moving film with funny moments like the scene above. Have to admit that I'm a big George Clooney fan. It made me cry.

Drag Me to Hell - Wasn't sure about this one until I realised it was by Sam Raimi, how could I resist. Hilarious horror.

Frances Ha - Due to various distractions I've only watched half, but enjoyed it enough to want to see the rest. I think, one of those films you need to be in the right mood for. Finally, watched and loved it.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai - The last of the Jim Jarmusch films I hadn't seen. Those gangsters were funny fuckers. Great film.

Only learned about Uwe Boll recently. Rampage was fantastic, not too sure about the rest of his though. Assault on Wall Street was ok, but some of the acting wasn't very convincing.

Politics bore me, Ken loach doesn't: The Spirit of '45

It was News to me: The Assassination of Richard Nixon

Although I haven't seen the Sean Penn version, the previous image reminded me of the great documentary -
The Times of Harvey Milk

Gripping scary shit. United 93

About Schmidt - Took me a while to get around to this one, but worth the wait. One of Jack's best. Which reminds me, I could really do with one of those.